To forgive is not a natural decision, it must come from a conscious decision to let go.
They deserve to be punished and you may be looking for the best way to revenge.
And why should you let go?
You trusted them but they betrayed your trust.
You forgave once but they still did it again.
They are taking you for a fool and for granted.
You need to teach them a lesson.
You don’t wish them death but you want them to go through pain too.
After all, they should reap their own wickedness.
You have every right to be mentally angry.
Will it give you freedom, joy, and peace?
The quickest person to hurt you is usually a loved one.
Someone who knows you. Someone whom you have shared a lot of things in common with.
An enemy has nothing to prove.
How then can you revenge every hurt they have done to you?
To forgive is to give up the right to hurt someone who has hurt you.
Forgiveness means you don’t need to tell me sorry. I let go.
Forgiveness does not mean that you have forgotten but that you don’t let it hurt you again.
someone I trusted so much hurt me so much, can I really forgive?
He keeps hurting me and this time, I can’t forgive him.
Does this sound like you? Are you struggling to let go of hurts?
In this article, you will find 12 reasons why you need to forgive.
And this, if imbibed in will tremendously change your life.
Why You Should Forgive.
1. To forgive is not for the other person, it’s for you. It releases you from mental pain. The person who hurt you may have moved on and if you don’t let it go, the pain stays in your mind. It frees us from the offender. We let ourselves out of the mental prison of pain, low self-esteem, bitterness resentment, and anger.
2. The subconscious mind is where memories are and when you forgive, you let go of the pain associated with your subconscious mind
3. Forgiveness makes you understand that we are merely imperfect humans and can make mistakes. We also need forgiveness ourselves. Thus, when we forgive, we accept that we sometimes hurt other people too.
4. When you forgive someone, you pay the person back in your own coin, instead of their own coin. It’s like taking the power to choose our own responses. You may have been jilted by your lover, abandoned by your parents, abused by your parents or loved ones. Choosing your own responses is like being in control.
5. Forgiveness shows you the image of the cross. It’s like walking through the ‘heavens gate’. You were forgiven to forgive. Jesus forgave you, so you ought to forgive. Always ask yourself what will Jesus do if he was hurt. (Luke 23:34)
6. Forgiveness portrays your divinity’s superiority over your humanity. You have every right to be angry. But being in control is taping into your divine nature to subdue your human nature.
7. Forgiveness is the conscious thought of putting the relationship first before your ego or pride. You grow in character and become a better version of your natural self.
8. Forgiveness is a sign of strength. It’s not a weakness but strength under control. According to Mahatma Gandhi “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Resentment starts from the thought processes so also forgiveness. It’s your thoughts that affect your feelings. Negative thoughts cause negative feelings and positive thoughts create positive feelings too.
9. To allow yourself to be cheated doesn’t mean you are a fool but you are wise enough to understand the secrets of being forgiven. Expect disappointment, betrayal from people, it’s part of the human experience. You cannot control what others do to you but you can control what happens in you.
10. Nothing robs your joy and peace of mind like when you don’t forgive. You may see them but they constantly live in your head. The more you forgive, the more your emotional health is in its best state.
11. When you keep a grudge, you give the key to your heart to another person. When you forgive, you possess the key. Forgiveness is a gift we give to ourselves. Everything is energy. Whatever you give out comes back to you, forgiveness too.
12. Feeling sick? It may be tied to a grudge you are still holding. The mind-body maintains its equilibrium when forgiveness is given. It reduces pain, stress, insomnia, depression, cholesterol, and high blood pressure. Also, it enhances the quality of one’s sleep.
How To Forgive.
You can forgive someone and love them without being in a relationship with them.
- Just before you forgive, you can cry if you feel like and let it go. Don’t deny the pain. Anger and resentment is a process, so also forgiveness is a process too.
- Try and understand the reasons why the person hurt you. It does not mean you are accepting the hurt but you are trying to be emphatic.
- Let the person know how you felt. Use words like ‘i feel’ bad, hurt, betrayed, etc. Avoid saying ‘you’…
- Set new boundaries. Don’t let the person hurt you more again.
- Explain why you are choosing to forgive.
- Verbalize your forgiveness. No matter how hurt you may feel. Call the person’s name and offer forgiveness. You will be shocked by how much peace will enter into your heart. You could also put it into writing. Writing is a psycho-neural motor activity that puts your thoughts to action.
- Smile, feel no hurt of the offense. Then take a deep breath and exhale.
Remember you have every right to be mentally angry but think more about your freedom, joy, and peace.
I know how deep a hurt can be so you can’t keep repressing these painful memories pretending it’s not there, you’ve got to release it and let it go.
And when you forgive, forget! Yes, forgive and forget.
To forget a wrong doesn’t mean that you lose your memory over what has happened but that you get to the point where the memories of the wrong don’t hurt anymore.
You will be a lot happier and you will enjoy what it truly means to forgive
I want you to be happy. To your success.