I had just falling into sexual temptation. This was my first sexual experience.
Was I naive? I guess so. This was what happened.
On a cold, rainy night, I had a knock on my door.
It was Evelyn —my girlfriend. We have been dating for a while.
She had never visited me at this time of the night before. It was strange. What could have gone wrong?
“Honey, are you alright?,you didn’t inform me you were coming.” I asked.
She didn’t respond. She was silent.
As she sauntered through the wooden door, she was looking all blue and depressed.
She quickly found a seat on my couch.
I offered her a cup of coffee, then, I tried investigating the cause of her melancholic disposition.
Her narrative was that she was unsecured over our future.
Phew… I was glad that it wasn’t as bad as I imagined.
I whispered softly to her ears telling her what she really meant to me and how I was willing to love her unconditionally.
Two years ago, Evelyn lost her parents in an automobile accident. She was the only child of her parents and I felt I could give her the emotional support she needed.
That was before we met and we have been dating for a while.
She told me of how she had turned down many guys who were flirting with her and how she doesn’t want me to disappoint or deceive her.
I did my best to douse her worries, giving her the reassurances she wanted.
I started by assuring her that I have always been committed to her and always and also how I appreciate her affection towards me and more.
She gazed at me, my words seems to get hold of her. I kept talking, she kept listening.
As we continue to engage in the emotional dialogue, I held her soft arms, and I couldn’t resist the soothing sensation I felt as my arm touched hers.
That was not the first time we got so close but that night, the sensation was strong.
I couldn’t resist the sexual temptation I was experiencing.
As the rain got heavier,she became vulnerable to my advances.
It was just the two of us. I brought my lips, she brought hers, we kissed.
Shortly, my hands seemed to caress her.
“let me go,”she spoke softly. she knew that we were falling into sexual temptation.
I whispered,”just a minute”, and that was it. We had sex.
We broke our virginity. After the escapades, we couldn’t look at each other’s faces. We felt disappointed.
As she set was to go back to her apartment, we were very ashamed and depressed about what just happened.
Despite the fact that I and Evelyn have been going out for a while. we had maintained chastity before that night.
We had even made a vow to ourselves not to defile the marriage bed. We had an agreement not to have sex until we were married.
But what went wrong that night? Why did we fall into sexual temptation so easily?
Later that night, I cried myself to sleep. I knew we had betrayed the covenant we made between ourselves and God.
The nature of sexual temptation
Sexual temptation is an attempt of the mind through the sensory organs to lure the body to sex. This activity starts with a thought meditated on in the mind.
Sexual temptation is not sin itself but can lead to sin if listen to the desires of your body.
It is also an emotion in the mind that if followed leads to sexual activity.
Kissing, touching in sensitive body parts, hugging is as a result of sexual temptation.
Subtle as it may be, it is a gradual progression to sex. We are sensual beings and we respond to stimuli.
Sexual temptation leads to lust and lust fully borne becomes sinful in its entirety.
Though one may argue that what does simple hugging or kissing do?
Is it not harmless? Are we really having sex? How is it sinful?
Emphatically, it is more risky when you engage in it. It taints the biblical standards for sexual purity.
To borrow an analogy, “it is the spark that creates the fire”. It rises slowly, then you gather momentum and zoom you take off!
The moment two people in a Godly relationship are found kissing or touching each other,even if sex wasn’t intended, the sexual temptation begins to build up.
Certain chemicals like ‘dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin’ gives you a feeling of euphoria—you feel good and want to fan the flames of sex.
In fact, when you are very stressed, it can be a trap. Because when you’re excited by these hormones, it’s a great stress reliever.
Thus, fanning the flames of sexual temptation is bad and leaves our relationship strained with our source, God.
If we must live a life of purity before marriage, we must not fall or give room for sexual temptation.
Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?” (Prov:27 KJV)
TRUTH ABOUT SEX
To have the desire for physical intimacy is NORMAL and NATURAL.
This desire is good and God-given. It was wired in you that way.
Every desire you have has been placed by God. However, if you are born again, your body is not yours.
You don’t have ownership, you just have ruler-ship.
Do you not know that your body is the temple (the very sanctuary) of the Holy Spirit Who lives within you, Whom you have received [as a Gift] from God? You are not your own… ( 1Cor. 6:27, The Amplified Bible)
You only have the right to share your body when you are married. That’s God’s original design.
That’s why you have to know the reasons why sex should wait until marriage.
HOW TO OVERCOME SEXUAL TEMPTATION.
Hormones are part of our genetic makeup.
We all respond to our hormones when stimulated.
But to maintain sexual purity, you have to learn to wait or delay gratification.
- By using your will power to delay it for the right moment.
You see when it comes sexual temptation, your body doesn’t recognize your covenants with God or the fact that you are Spirit filled.
What it wants is sex and comfort.
But you have a role to play and that is to control what your body wants.
You can’t do this on your own, you need the help of the Holy Spirit to delay it to the appropriate time.
But I keep under my body, and bring it under subjection…” (1 cor. 9:25 KJV)
- You have to maintain intimacy with the Holy SPIRIT. That means you have to walk in the Spirit.
Note: the most important relationship is the relationship with the Holy Spirit before any other person.
In essence, Your love for others should not be more than your love for God.
- Also, to maintain sexual purity, be careful of confined areas. Sexual temptation usually starts in a confined area or private place. Always be seen at public places.
- Avoid sexual talks that can pull emotional triggers overpowering your logic.
Emotions are stronger if not controlled than logic.
- Be assertive, if you are in a position to be tempted, if need be, leave the environment immediately. Back up your ‘No’ with an action or a concerted effort.
- Get up and Go! Avoid touching behaviors that are sexual in nature.
The thin line between a sexual touch and non-sexual touch is in the area in which the body was touched.
- Have a marriage relationship coach you are accountable to.
You are not alone in the battle to keep your body sexually pure.
Sexual temptation battles is not fought Alone. Sexual addictions thrives under secrecy.
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