You are currently viewing What got you attracted to him/her.

What got you attracted to him/her.

Share the message

What  made you attracted to someone?

What makes you like a person? What is the starting point of your friendships in life? Best friends forever, why?

Find out the factors that gets you attracted to someone you like.

  • You find them good-looking.

Beauty is what makes one attractive. We all know that looks are worth it and looking good is good business.

Thus,  we react more positively to people that we find physically attractive. We also act favorably towards people we find physically attractive.

The color of the eyes, height, complexion, weight and other physical features of a person can cause physical attractiveness.

Garwood (1980) in his research opined that factors like someone name can affect attraction.

In a research experiment, participants were to attach names to photographs in other to rate attractiveness by attaching a desirable first name like Christine, Kathy or Jennifer and undesirable first name like Harriet, Gertrude, Ethel. The researchers observed that pictures thar were attractive were given desirable names to. While pictures that were unattractive received undesirable names.

  • You guys act alike.

We tend to like people who are just like us. We are attracted to those that have the same attitudes, ideas, beliefs and attributes as ourselves.

For instance, people who engage in the same type of extra curricular activities tend to be like themselves and build natural rapport between themselves.

Friends become more similar in nature as they get to know each other better. This is because they seem to understand one another’s view-point more clearly.

Finding friends who are similar to ourselves is a good way of preventing irreparable damage to the relationship. In other words, similarity plays a huge role in sustaining relationships.

In their studies, Kerchoff & Davis (1986) conducted an interview on couples who were engaged and had been together for over 18 months and found out that similarity in attitudes was not very important in their relationship.

However, it was a different case when couples who were engaged less than 18 months were interviewed.

They discover that similar attitudes among the couple was a very important factor in building a stable relationship than those with different attitude.

Nevertheless, this factor is not a fast rule. There is an exception. It’s on our next point.

  • You guys are just different.

It’s true that opposite attracts. We tend to like those who are different from us in terms of attitude and attributes.

Winch,  in 1958, opined that people choose partners whose attitudes were opposite because it will compensate their deficiencies.

This is based on the “complimentary need theory” which is the idea that some couples are attracted to one another because of opposite personalities and therefore can fulfill each other needs.

He believed that couples have two main pairs of complementary needs : nurturant-receptive and dominant – submissive.

He said, “dominant people choose submissive partners while nurturant people choose receptive partners.

E.g one person does the talking, the other loves to listen.

  • You see yourselves quite often.

Who you are familiar with or who you see often may spark an attraction. This is the notion of familiarity/propinquity.

For instance, boys develop friendship with themselves because they share the same dormitory or class.

It’s quite interesting to note that we do form relationships or attractions with people we constantly see in our neighborhood. Unlike the idea of similarity in attitudes causing attraction.

Also, being nearby physically can cause attraction irregardless of personal differences.

Segal,  in 1974, during his studies observed that friendships of new recruits at an American police Academy was built on the basis that their names were next to them on their alphabetical class list.

This is because they have been placed next to each other in dormitories and classrooms on basis of their surnames.

  • He or she as attracted first.

It’s natural to be attracted to some that shows us genuine affection first. We like people who likes us and we dislike or tend to avoid others that don’t feel attracted to us.

In other words, we get attracted to people who are positive towards us. This is called reciprocal liking

  • He or she sometimes makes mistakes.

Funny right? We tend to get attracted to people who we perceive to be vulnerable or prone to mistakes or errors. Yes, we want even our idols should be human at times. It makes us feel good. This notion is called “perceived fallibility”



This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Yah true applies to me

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.