How to get someone to like you instantly is a life long skill that gets better as we interact with people.
All of life’s successes are a result of a good relationship with others.
You get better when you get more interested in others.
You may not have been born with relational skills but you can acquire these people skills.
How do you get someone to like you instantly?
1. Listen deeply to get someone to like you.
The most sincere form of flattery you can give to a human being is your listening ability.
I mean undivided, uninterrupted, emphatic kind of listening.
Encouraging others to talk about themselves.
Have you noticed that people don’t really want you to tell them what to do?
They just want a listening ear. If you have little children, you should understand the power of effectively listening to your kids.
Do you see how happy they get around you and become more outspoken and free to express their deepest feelings?
If you can effectively listen to children less than 4 years of age, you can listen to almost anybody.
Deep listeners are usually popular with people because they are more relatable to others.
To get someone to like you instantly you have to listen with all intensity, skill, and timing.
I know it’s easier to listen to a person than a crowd.
How then can we do this in a group?
Simple. You give the same equal intensity to everyone as you would give one person in your group.
Listening is an art of which if practiced frequently, the better one gets good at it.
It’s usually a great deal of effort for most of us that are the outspoken type to hold our thought, listen without interrupting.
But if you want to be easily liked, you have to overcome the temptation of interrupting others when they are still talking.
You have to let them simmer down and have their thoughts expressed fully before you respond.
Read more on: How to listen effectively and be loved for it!
2. Always Smile to get someone to like you.
I once entered into a restaurant and the waiter attending to me with the menu was really frowning.
Probably she wasn’t aware of it. I quickly remembered that I was in control of my internal states.
So I asked her a question with a smile politely, “Do you know that your dress looks good on you?”
She gazed at me as if her attention has been caught.
Then I continued “You have been frowning since I came here and if you won’t smile, I won’t be happy ordering for any meal here”.
She later gave a sheepish smile.
What’s the point? The first thing a person sees meeting you is your facial expression and if it’s not filled with smile, it may make you lose people’s influence.
What is in a smile? A smile makes a dark day seems bright.
It’s like a ray of light in a dark tunnel. A smile increases your face value.
A smile means: you are welcome, I am approachable, I am happy to see you, I am easy-going, I am friendly, I care about you.
Innocent as babies are, have you tried smiling to a baby before?
What was their response? Did you see how they mirror your mood?
Did you see how they become cheerful, free, and more active?
A nursery teacher who can’t just smile has no business caring for or teaching nursery children.
Even if you have a moody face or you are a serious-looking person or don’t always feel like smiling, you can learn the art of smiling.
How? Simple. Every morning when you wake up, look into a mirror.
Show some teeth and smile again. Awkward right? Don’t worry, keep smiling till you become at ease with your self and your smile.
It may seem difficult at first but when it becomes a habit, it becomes so natural for you.
If you really want to get someone to like you instantly you have to practice the art of smiling.
McConnell, a psychologist at the University of Michigan, expressed his feelings about a smile.
“People who smile, he said, “tend to manage, teach and sell more effectively and raise happier children”
You see, even if you had a bad mood or day, don’t let that dampen your smile.
I realized many years ago that my mood mirrors the reaction I get when I meet people.
So, no matter how my feelings were injured, I would force a smile. Do you know that your mood is infectious?
That’s what your smile and frown do. They infect. Wouldn’t you be a lot happier when you meet people and their life seems brighter?
If you want to truly want to get someone to like you instantly, smile.
Smile till it’s contacted.
You will have those desired relationships.
3. Find out what they want and give it to them.
Have you tried catching a fish before in a little pond with a hook?
What did you use? A bait right. Yes!
That’s the same way it applies to humans.
How do you become someone people go after? How can you get someone to like you instantly?
This is it. ‘Give people what they want’. What do they want?
What they want is left for you to figure out.
They will not do what you want if they are not benefiting from it.
They usually ask “what is in it for me?” If you want to get anyone like you, think of the other person’s wants, needs, or desires.
What they need could be a feeling, a satisfaction, a benefit an advantage.
And when you find what they want, feed their ‘selfish desires’.
Once you do that, you get more control, more power, more influence. You become someone they look up to.
If you are a leader or a would-be leader, before you tell people to do what you want, tell them the benefits they will derive if they do it.
If it meets their desires, you will get better responses.
Do you remember the Marshmallow experiment about children who were kept in a room with marshmallows and told that if they delayed gratification for some hours by not taking the marshmallows, they will get extra?
That’s how to get people to cooperate with you. If there are benefits, entitlement, gain, good feeling, they will do it.
4. Appreciate them.
One of the dosage to a person’s self-worth is appreciation.
Though it’s good if one is not swept off by the praises of men.
But in every sense of the word, every human being wants to feel like they matter and appreciation is a booster.
Even the meekest of men desire to be appreciated.
They want to be appreciated for making little or significant efforts.
If you want to get someone to like you instantly, you must learn to show gratitude to people even for the most trivial and little things done.
A manager who wants to get the best from his workers must constantly appreciate them for every improvement made.
It spurs people to do more. What I mean is showing gratitude, not flattery. You see, flattery is manipulative and deceitful.
You may say there are some people who haven’t done anything to be grateful for.
Now the reason you don’t see anything yet is that you expect so much from people.
One of the best ways of getting along with others is to limit your expectations from them and show them gratitude instead.
It will be so disheartening if our son brings in the C’s in his report card, yet we fail to encourage his efforts or he tries to lay his bed in his first attempt, yet we fail to appreciate his efforts.
Nothing really helps a child’s self-esteem than sincere praise from his or her parents.
Now, let’s become practicable. The next time you go to a restaurant and you enjoyed the meal, say sweet words to the person who made it.
If you enjoyed an excellent service of some sort, show gratitude.
You will be amazed at how that can take you on your trip to making anyone like you.
5. To get someone to like you, never say they are wrong.
We all look but we see differently. How often do we feel downcast when someone says ‘you are wrong’?
Every fiber of our being always want to fight that premise.
Even if that was true, self-defense is usually the case. No one wants to be told he or she is wrong.
How do you tell someone he or she is wrong?
It’s all in how you approach it. Start in a very diplomatic way.
See the person’s positives first and complement then point out the person’s shortcomings indirectly and appraisal finally.
Avoid arguments. Your opinion must not always count. Learn to see things from other perspectives.
Accept that the person has a great point.
People have their own beliefs, value systems, and lifestyles.
And usually, they feel right in their own eyes. Acknowledge that fact. Don’t force a change immediately.
Then find areas you both agree on and dwell on it.
Don’t be tempted to say ‘you are wrong’.
Each person has something to teach us.
I don’t mean that everybody we meet will teach us something. What I mean is that they have the potential to do so.
Finally, Instead of saying ‘you are wrong’, ask questions. One of the ways I correct someone whom I perceive is wrong is I ask questions.
Simple right? And when I ask questions, I don’t expect an answer.
The questions were just a statement for the other person to ponder on. He or she may defend the question but will be glad
I never made the foolery out of him or her.
Agreeing with someone doesn’t mean they were always right but that you are sensitive enough to value your relationships above your opinions.
Is that hard?
If you really want to get someone to like you instantly, you shouldn’t tell someone he or she is wrong directly.
6. Learn and Recall their names correctly.
What is in a name? I just forgot someone’s name, so what? There is more.
People are more interested in their names than any other name.
That is why you find people giving their children their names to keep their history longer.
If you want to get someone to like you instantly, you have to learn and recall people’s names correctly.
Can I ask you a question? How many people can you remember their first name; 50,500,5000?
The more you recall people’s names, the more you get popular.
The more you get popular, the more you get someone to like you instantly.
I know that sometimes it may be difficult to remember a name, especially if the name is difficult to pronounce. Don’t ignore it. Learn it.
As a C.E.O or a leader of your company, you need to know every single name of your employees.
Any executive that can’t remember his employee’s name is saying he doesn’t know some important part of his company.
If you want to get along with people easily, you have to be interested in people’s names and this takes a huge effort.
You focus and continuously repeat the names of people till its imbedded in your subconscious mind.
Now, if you want to start a conversation, start by recalling people’s names, your relationships will become effective.
7. Don’t find faults or disapprove them.
Most of us are guilty of this including me.
How often do we find faults or scold sharply someone who is ‘perceived’ to be wrong?
Inasmuch as we may be right, we lose people-power.
Haven’t you noticed that people are drawn more to people who are not judgmental?
Negative criticism or fault-finding stirs resentment, guilt, shame, and fear.
Would you like to be the source of these negative emotions? Instead of complaining, why don’t you overlook the person’s flaws and errors?
Complaining doesn’t change people. If you really want to change others, start seeing positively from the other person’s perspective.
When you do this, you will change the way you respond to their shortcomings.
We are emotional creatures. We sure have feelings and anytime we find faults or complain, we injure their emotions and claim to be perfect.
If you want to get someone to like you instantly, you must always speak the good of a person at all times.
It takes a solid character, empathy, emotional intelligence to be kind in approval.
If you must correct a flaw, let your words and tone be positive. Let the fault seems very little.
Also, try pointing to people’s mistakes by asking questions if you are feeling the urge to complain.
8. If their idea is better, let them win.
Assume for instance, in an executive meeting, you have just introduced the strategies on how you and your team are going to overcome the numerous problems your company has been going through in the past months.
Then, all of a sudden, someone outside your team punched a hole on your team’s strategy and later came up with an idea that seemed to go on well with others.
And your team’s idea no longer was that good enough. How do you handle this circumstance?
Do you just accept the change or insist that your team will continue on the strategy initiated?
This is where people skills have to be applied here.
As a leader or would-be leader, it feels natural to want the idea you bring hold sway.
However, if you want to get someone to like you, you have to let go of your idea for a better idea in your group sometimes.
Winning with others should matter to you than winning alone.
The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
The success achieved through team participation is much more rewarding than success achieved alone.
Being a persuasive talker doesn’t mean that you would always win an idea.
If you want to be liked easily and instantly, your goal should be letting the best idea win.
What is the best idea? The best idea is the popular idea, the idea that the majority of your group votes for.
When you do this you make others get to like you, and see you as one that really cares about the thoughts and feelings of others.
With these, you can improve your range of influence and get someone or anyone to like you.
People are always interested in themselves. Use this knowledge and influence others
Finally, getting someone to like you instantly gets better the more we apply the techniques listed here.
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